Pain-Free Athlete's Podcast
Are you tired of feeling pain? Are you recovering from a surgery? Do you want to learn how to stay active and pain-free? I'll share tips and strategies that can help you stay safe and pain-free while you're working out. I'll also interview experts in the field of fitness, rehabilitation and pain management.
Pain-Free Athlete's Podcast
Navigating Grief and Growth: A Tribute to My Father's Wisdom in Pain-Free Living
Navigating the turbulent waters of grief, I share a deeply personal journey on this episode of the Pain-Free Athlete Podcast. After the recent passing of my father, I took a hiatus to embrace emotional vulnerability and engage with Tension Myositis Syndrome (TMS) without letting it overpower me. Reflecting on my father's wisdom—his belief in mindfulness and emotional awareness—I explore the growth and maturity gained since my mother's passing four years prior. This episode is a heartfelt tribute to my father's enduring influence, capturing the strength found in accepting that it's okay not to be okay and the resilience built through life's emotional triggers.
Chronic pain can often unleash a flood of overwhelming emotions, impacting overall well-being. I emphasize the importance of seeking guidance from trained TMS medical providers and other supportive resources to navigate these challenges effectively. With immense gratitude for our listeners, I offer a glimpse into future episodes, promising enriching discussions on emerging topics. Join me as we continue our conversation about staying active, pain-free, and emotionally resilient in the face of life's inevitable hardships.
@djsfitnessevolution
Welcome to the Pain-Free Athlete Podcast. I'm your host, dana Jones. I am a certified personal trainer and I'm here to help you achieve your fitness goals without pain. In each episode, I'll share tips and strategies that will help you stay safe and pain-free while you're working out. I'll also interview experts in the field of fitness and pain management. So if you're ready to learn how to stay active and pain-free, then subscribe to the Pain-Free Athlete Podcast today.
Speaker 1:Hi everyone and welcome to the Pain-Free Athlete Podcast. I'm your host, dana Jones, and today's episode is deeply personal, to put it lightly. I guess is deeply personal, to put it lightly, I guess. I've been on a little hiatus, and that was the result of my father's illness and eventually his passing, and so this time has been, you know, processing all the emotions, doing all the work, reflecting on our relationship and just remembering the good stuff and seeing him in a different light. You know I also see him around, which is kind of fun. But I wanted to share with you about how I've been kind of processing this loss and how I've been very grateful to not experience any TMS symptoms, which I think is the primary idea behind this podcast, and to talk about how TMS has shown up in my life and how I've responded to it. And I don't necessarily think that you can get a bigger test than having somebody that you love pass away and trying to to say, not control your feelings, which is pretty good, right, you'd say that. So, tms personalities, you know we are very controlling type humans and so, as a result, you know we don't want to feel emotions, we don't want to have them affect us because we want to make everybody think everything is okay and we are doing the good work. And so this was a unique opportunity for me to sit in my grief and sit with all the feelings, and it's been a very interesting process.
Speaker 1:Now I've been doing this work for about four and a half years, and so when I was brand new to the work, my mom had passed away, and that was, of course, very emotional because it was the first parent that you lose and I wasn't, shall we say, tms mature at this point. So I tried to, you know, do my journaling and try to process emotions, but then also there was that tendency to want to control emotions and look like I had it together when I really didn't have it together. I did. Okay, right, I still, you know, had a headache here and there, but for the most part I really didn't honor the work the right way. But you know, hey, we all have to start somewhere. So this time around was very different.
Speaker 1:So it's four years later, same month, which is very interesting, and I'm dealing with the passing of my father, and I would have to say that, you know, if you didn't know my dad, he was an awesome dude. We had a lot of conversations we used to talk about, like you know, dr Joe Dispenza and meditating and really the belief behind he was very much in tune with this work, doing the TMS work and not having it affect. You know, knowing how there is an effect, bodily, right that when you have these thoughts, that they do become feelings, and that feelings can control a lot of what happens in your life. It can create pain, it can create all kinds of situations, and so it was good to have somebody to talk to. And he also kind of highlighted the fact that, like, hey, this is a carcass that I'm just kind of riding in and when it's done, it's done, and I think for me that was good because it helped me process his passing and knowing that he's still with me right, and I still have the ability to look at pictures and all the things that give me good memories of my experience with him and who he was as my dad.
Speaker 1:The other piece is that I know that it's okay with not being okay and shout out to my friend Stacy because we always used to tease and talk about that that it's okay not to be okay and it doesn't have to be pretty, and that there are certain things that will trigger you. You know, like, for example, I called the VA and you know, and they started off with I'd like to say, on behalf of the United States Army, that we give our condolences for your loss, and, of course, I was hysterical when they said that, because it was saying it out loud and that was a very weird thing, because you see it, you know it, you're in there and then, all of of a sudden, somebody else says it and you're like, holy shit, it's real. So, you know, I dealt with it, though, and by dealing with it, I just sat with it and I just felt it and I did the things that you need to do when you're dealing with that kind of stuff need to do when you're dealing with that kind of stuff. You know.
Speaker 1:The other piece was that my parents had lived in that same apartment for almost 50 years and I had to clean it out and there was a lot of stuff. There was so much stuff and it was, you know, they weren't hoarders but they didn't throw anything out. So like some of the shit was like old you know, weren't hoarders but they didn't throw anything out. So like some of the shit was like old, you know. It's like oh, there's a little stuffed christmas tree that they had for decoration and it's still there. You know those kinds of things.
Speaker 1:So, um, I had to go through things and at first it was this idea of like, okay, um, you know what if he comes back? What if there's, you know, if he has to go to a rehab facility? Like I need to clean this apartment out because I don't know if he'll be capable of coming back here. And then, after things kind of changed, it was holy shit, I need to empty out this apartment because, you know, I have to live my life and I didn't want to be in a situation where I was there I don't live in the same town as my parents or the same state, same state very easy for me to say. And so there was that urgency to go ahead and clear things out. And so the first week I was, you know, kind of back and forth, so I was doing hospital stuff, making medical decisions for him, and then the second half of the day was really throwing things out.
Speaker 1:And you know, shout out to my friend Loretta, our family friend. I've known her for I don't know, probably over 40 years now and God bless Loretta, because she was a freaking trooper. She put me in contact with people. She was out there going through stuff with me, throwing things out. Um, they live in an apartment complex, 600 square feet, and, um, we threw out probably three dumpsters worth of garbage, which is insane, um, that that little apartment could hold so much shit. But she was there with me and you know I enjoyed having her there and I was just so grateful for the fact that she was able to, you know, be in a place where she could help me and she didn't care, like she wasn't worried about you know, oh, I have this to do. I mean, she took care of herself and did the things that she needed to do, but then also giving you know being there for me, which is, you know, just insane, and I'm so glad that she was there and she put me in contact with all kinds of people that were able to help me and it really just shows, like how the community comes out and really comes together to help people when they need to. Now, I haven't lived there for 30 years, but there are people that I knew, people that she knew, that were there helping me and it was awesome.
Speaker 1:But there was the challenge, right, I was sleeping on a couch, not in my same bed. I had a little idea like, oh, what if my back hurts? And it's like not in my same bed, you know, I had a little idea like, oh, what if my back hurts? And it's like your back's not going to hurt, you're sleeping on something, relax. But there was also the walking garbage back and forth. There was two different flights of stairs that I had to process. So walking back and forth 30, 40 times, you know, a day Garbage is a lot, you know, and it's emotional draining, right, emotionally draining on top of the physical draining piece.
Speaker 1:And I was able to do it without having too much stuff and I love that, that I was able to be able to do these things and be emotionally present and not punish myself by holding feelings, stuffing feelings, doing all the things. So there's that, right. And again, I understand that I am a person of privilege. Right, I'm throwing out shit that well, I don't know if anybody would want their stuff, but I was throwing out stuff. I had a wonderful job that allows me to have the benefits to be gone for two weeks to be able to do this type of thing, and I don't know if I would have seen that before, I think I would have worried about, you know, what people think. I would have tried to do it quickly and not really process that. I would have done all the things, except for the right thing, which is dealing with what's happening right now, and I dealt with what was happening right now. I got the opportunity to hang out and spend a lot of time with Lorena. I got a chance to see my brother, who I haven't seen in a while, and my nephew, and they were freaking rock stars because they were like yes, toss, you know, keep toss, whatever you know.
Speaker 1:So we were getting rid of a lot of things and I just want to acknowledge the fact of how lucky I am to have all these people who are willing to help me in my life, and I know that people don't always get that opportunity and you know I'm grateful for it. And you know people are good and I know it's a little funky right now because you know we're post-election and so there's lots of feelings floating around, but I can tell you, the people that are in my life are solid humans and I am so grateful that they are here for me and I just I'm glad that I had the support that I had from my family, from my friends, during this process. You know, I don't know, I don't know what else to say. There's so much other stuff to talk about because you know, I went through 50 years of shit, so I had to go through my entire childhood, but that's going to save for another time.
Speaker 1:So I just wanted to kind of reconnect because it's been a while, and I wanted to let you know that there are people out there that are willing to support you. You just have to have the right people in your tribe to do that. And it's good that people are good. Just know that at their core, humans are good and I'm glad that I have some rock stars in my life and I can't thank them enough for all the support that I've gotten. And it was the people that I know, the people that they connected me with. It was a solid community and I appreciate that and that allowed me to grieve the way that I needed to grieve and I appreciate that Now is my grieving process over, obviously not because it's only been a month, so there's going to be things that are going to happen, right.
Speaker 1:So there, you know, I had to go to a conference and then I saw something that reminded me of my dad and I was like, oh boy, I'm a little lost in this. And I went and I cried, me and my dad, and I was like, oh boy, I'm a little lost in this. And I went and I cried and I was grateful for that memory and I was grateful for the fact that I had a reminder and that's good stuff and, um, you know, I'm getting um into this whole feeling the feelings and not having, um, not resisting things that are happening and just staying as present as I can. So, for those of you who may, you know, be dipping your toe into the TMS world and not sure if it works or not sure if you're going to make it.
Speaker 1:You know I've seen a couple of posts where I'm really concerned about some people, but you know, chronic pain can make people do crazy things and make you think a lot of crazy shit, whether it's through a trained TMS medical provider, whatever it may be. You do that work, you are going to see the benefit and that's going to be a lovely thing. So, anyway, we have more to talk about and I will keep you posted on what's going on, because there is some, like I said, there's other shit that kind of popped up that I thought, ooh, this will be good to discuss. But, um, thank you everyone and I really appreciate my listeners and I appreciate all the people who have come out and support me in various ways and, um, I just appreciate y'all being there and um, anyway, that's all I got for now and I will catch you next time.
