Exploring Family Ties: Rediscovering Body Image and Self-Acceptance

Unpacking the past can be an enlightening journey, especially when it reveals the roots of our self-image. As I sifted through my late parents' belongings, I stumbled upon my mother's old Weight Watchers guides and my father's hypnosis paraphernalia, triggering a flood of memories and reflections on how their struggles with weight influenced my own perceptions. Together with my brother, we revisit conversations that reveal our mother's critical views on weight and how those views shaped us. This personal exploration sheds light on growing up in a time when society was fixated on thinness, and how, at 55, I've come to value health and strength over outdated societal standards.  Join me as I champion the cause of empowerment and hope that everyone can find the strength to embrace their true selves.

Chapters

• 0:05 Family Influences on Body Image
• 9:16 Building Self-Acceptance and Support Circle

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:05

Welcome to the Pain-Free Athlete Podcast. I'm your host, dana Jones. I am a certified personal trainer and I'm here to help you achieve your fitness goals without pain. In each episode, I'll share tips and strategies that will help you stay safe and pain-free while you're working out. I'll also interview experts in the field of fitness and pain management. So if you're ready to learn how to stay active and pain-free, then subscribe to the Pain-Free Athlete Podcast today. Hi everyone and welcome to the Pain-Free Athlete Podcast.

Speaker 1: 0:37

I'm your host, dana Jones, so I wanted to kind of continue the discussion I started last week when I was talking about the passing of my father and going through all my parents' stuff and whatnot, because it was definitely a chore, but there was something that was very curious, that I kind of discovered. Very curious that I kind of discovered. And if any of you have ever gone through a loved one's house after they pass, it's always a very interesting thing that you find. You know, you just find stuff and you've kind of understand a little bit more of their thinking. You know just behaviors, all that kind of stuff like make a lot more sense when you find, when you go through somebody else's shit and, um, you know, it started when I had to go through pictures and I couldn't find pictures and I was like, wow, you know, I don't exist. Only my daughter existed, apparently, cause there was, like shit, tons of photos of her everywhere. Um, every picture I've ever sent them was copied and put in a frame and which is totally sweet and I really appreciate that. But they also had other grandchildren it was. It was kind of like, wow, all right, you know, hopefully my nephew doesn't get too bent out of shape when he sees there's no pictures of him in here, but anyway, so I digress.

Speaker 1: 2:03

So I was going through the photos, photos, and I realized, like you know, there's some. I finally found like the stash. Um, I was like, okay, this is now I'm getting to the good stuff. This is like pictures of my family, you know, grandparents, all that kind of stuff, and I find a bunch of pictures of me, which was neat, um, and I'm looking at these pictures and I am I mean, for lack of a better word I am real thin and I don't even know like as a little girl, you know, going through middle school, going through high school, even in college, you know, there's one picture of me in my uniform, right after basic training and you could see the uniform doesn't fit me because I'm so skinny, which was funny because I actually had to lose weight to go to basic training because I was overweight according to military standards, but you know.

Speaker 1: 2:59

So I'm noticing this, I'm going through the stuff and I'm noticing these very thin pictures and I thought, damn, like as a kid I always thought I was heavy and I always got that impression that I was heavy and it was kind of you know, I don't know just, it was something that kind of lurked in the background. And as I was going through my parents' stuff, I started finding you know the origins of my thin is the best way of kind of putting it. You know, I found my mother's weight watchers, little guides, because I guess they handed out little pamphlets that you can go ahead and write down your scores for you know the food that you're eating, just a bunch of different weight loss stuff that she had had, and I knew that she had struggled with it. And then my brother and I even had some conversations about her behaviors around food, because she was very focused on my brother being overweight and he wasn't actually, he was just, he was a big dude, like he was just thick and strong and she because I guess it wasn't chiseled she made the assumption that he was fat and so she would constantly harass him about being fat, and you know that's again. Those are little girl memories that I remember her, you know, being upset with him and giving him a hard time, and so he and I had that opportunity to kind of have this conversation about, like you know, there were some unhealthy behaviors that we were witnessing with our mother in terms of her relationship with food and then also how she portrayed it to us.

Speaker 1: 4:39

And of course, you know you're never in the clear because as I'm going through my father's stuff, I'm finding like all these, all these things about weight loss, like he was a big meditator and he also did hypnosis and things like that. So then you know, finding like all this weight loss, hypnosis and whatever. And then of course, there's like all this workout equipment and I noticed under the bed there was like stuff like you know, six pack abs and you know specific equipment that was to target your abdominals, specific um equipment that was to target your abdominals and um it just you know it was, I don't know. I guess it was kind of sad on one aspect of it, to to kind of see these things and go, oh damn. You know like I guess this kind of sucks that they were, that they were doing this. But I also think you know they were also victims of the time. Everybody was doing this stuff.

Speaker 1: 5:32

You know I have so many friends that I've heard about their mothers putting them on liquid diets and you know that they're watching what they eat. And you know I know people who were 80s time to be a child. There was so much focus on your body image and that you know, heroin thin kind of look that everybody wanted. And you know, as I'm now, you know, 55 years old and I'm reflecting back and I'm looking at it and you know maybe this is Lisa Schlossberg that has gotten into my brain, but I'm realizing that I look better now. I look stronger, I look healthier. You know my color's better. You know my cheeks have some shape to them because there's actually fat in my cheeks. You know all those things and I'm coming.

Speaker 1: 6:38

You know I don't know if I'm 100% there because you know I'm still a female in the United States and there's a lot of focus on how people are and what you look like and you know, because there's magazines and social media and all those things. But I have to say that I feel pretty happy about where I am and I feel strong and that is something that makes me happy and, um, which is good, because I think, you know, as a youth, I was just so damn awkward and I was so unhappy and I just wanted to have friends and I just, you know all the insecurities, um, about not being the popular kid and, you know, having bad hair and braces and glasses and all the things that make you top on the list of being the ultimate. You know, attraction in high school, um, you know, that's kind of where I was and I, you know, attraction in high school, you know that's kind of where I was and I, you know, I am sure every one of you that's listening was like, oh yeah, damn, I was. You know, school sucks. I mean, the reality is that, you know, you're just, there's a constant comparison. There's all the wrong things that are happening in school. You know, education is such a minute part of what happens in the classroom and it's really all these social standards that have to be met or not met or whatever, and it's kind of no wonder why our kids are so flipping, anxious and depressed, that if you're possibly hearing growling in the background, those are my dogs that are trying to, you know, be quiet while I record, anyway, but I guess you know.

Speaker 1: 8:23

Coming back to it, the thing that I want, I guess, everybody to understand is that, one, you're not, you know, 15 anymore, right, and that you're going to grow up and hopefully you can grow out of these weird ass expectations that people have on your body. And secondly, um, I just want you to kind of understand that. You know, I guess you have to do the work. I mean, that's what it comes down to. You know there's these. Your family influences so many things, right? They influence your religion. Your family influences so many things, right. They influence your religion. They influence your politics. They influence your eating habits, foods that you like, foods that you don't like. There's so many things that your family of origin have influenced, whether it's good or bad or indifferent.

Speaker 1: 9:16

And you know, if you do the work and you take a look at yourself and you have a good understanding of who you are as a person, and hopefully you accept who you are and you understand that bodies are different and that it's okay to be differently shaped and that you shouldn't be shamed for it. Now, I'm not saying you should be unhealthy, but I guess there's got to be a reasonable thing. And whether it's who you hang out with that influences your behaviors, or at least support you, right? If they're not supporting you, then you probably shouldn't be hanging out with them. But it's just, it's an interesting concept.

Speaker 1: 9:59

So, anyway, I just wanted to share that with you because I thought it was something that struck me as very curious.

Speaker 1: 10:06

I really didn't want to go deep dark hole on that because of the fact that, you know, I don't want to trigger people and this is not what it it's about.

Speaker 1: 10:15

It's, you know, but it's, it's funny to reflect back and oh, that's where that shit comes from, you know, kind of deal.

Speaker 1: 10:22

And the good thing is that it didn't make me too weird, right, like at first you're like, oh god, this is really weird, but after that I kind of got over it, because you know they are who they are, they did the best with what information that they had and, um, you know, I'm kind of sad for them that this is, you know, the standard that they felt they needed to hold themselves up to, and I'm sad for anybody who feels like they need to be something different.

Speaker 1: 10:48

You know other than themselves, but we just don't always have the support and we don't have the confidence to be able to do those things. And that's something where you start building a circle, you start getting you know yourself, therapists, and you do all the things to help build up and also to go deep and know who you are and then be able to embrace it. And you know that's a special power and I hope that we all get there eventually, but you never know. So, anyway, that's all I got for you for now and I appreciate you taking the time to listen, and I will talk to you soon.